The man behind the deli counter—

the one with the helpful tips

about stuffing pork chops

and steaming sausages--

that man was my favorite.

He was a Norman Rockwell kind of clerk,

someone who provided comfort

in an often uncomfortable world,

a good example of what most people

would say they like about life in a small town.

.

That man, according to the Maine State

Sex Offender Registry, weighs 165 pounds.

is five feet, seven inches tall,

and is a lifetime registrant.

I had already noticed that his eyes were blue.

They smiled back at me from behind the counter.

But I didn’t know that he is my brother’s age,

or that he lives in Monroe and celebrates his birthday in May.

I didn’t know that somewhere there is a child

who wakes up most nights remembering his touch.

He was just the friendly man at the deli counter,

and now I’m wondering how to feel about him,

this one who was my favorite,

how to reconcile the words in his record

with my sense of his kindness,

how to watch his hands cut and weigh

my grass-fed hamburger

without picturing those same hands

in a dark room on some child’s body.

Tuesday is the day they make the sausages.

I wonder if he’ll be working.